Thursday, May 04, 2006

Eurotrip: Part One

I'm back from vacation, and man, I need a vacation. Overall, my trip was pretty fun, but it was so busy, I feel like I barely got a chance to sit down and relax. My trip started horribly and ended horribly, but the middle was very nice. So the worst part of the trip was on the flight there. We had great seats, right by one of those divider walls, so there was extra leg room. My sister booked her trip separately, so she wasn't sitting by my brother, my sister-in-law, and I. When the three of us approached our seats, I noticed that there was a super hot girl sitting in the seat next to where I would be sitting, and I was ecstatic. I've never gotten to sit next to a hot girl on an airplane except for when Danielle and I flew back from LA. I sat down for about thirty seconds, wondering how to begin conversation, when my sister comes by and asks the hot girl if she would switch seats. THANKS A LOT JERK!!!!! If I had seen my sister sitting next to a hot dude, I would just be like "oh, ok, I'll just sit over here and let her have her fun." That was the beginning of the suckiness of that flight. I had also foolishly stayed awake all night the night before with the intention of sleeping on the plane, little did I know that there would be a screaming devil child directly behind me and a tuberculosis patient a few seats away. Needless to say, I got no sleep. Then some sort of landing equipment was broken at the airport in Frankfurt, so our plane detoured to Dusseldorf for about three hours. We couldn't get off the plane and they were out of refreshments, so we just had to sit there and wait. Eventually we made it to Frankfurt, but when we got there, no one was there to pick us up. It turns out my cousins that were coming to get us had a flat tire on the autobahn. So we were stuck at the airport for another hour or so. Just about everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. Find out about the good parts of my vacation in Eurotrip: Part Two!

Friday, April 07, 2006

What the

So this morning I went to my doctor's appointment, even though I'm pretty much not sick anymore, and I was very surprised by something that happened there. They brought me over to the scale to get my weight, and I somehow miraculously gained 20 pounds in the last year. No joke. I asked them if it was correct, and they said "yep." I'm a pretty skinny guy, and I used to be (and sometimes still am) all self conscious about it, so I lied about my weight on my driver's license. Well, now it's not a lie anymore. I still don't really understand how it's possible for me to have gained 20 pounds! I look exactly the same as I always have. If anything, I thought I lost weight! Well, I'll use this to my advantage and turn it into rippling muscles.

Some people have asked about Danielle's loop rock girl thingy, so here's the explanation: There's a radio station in Chicago called the Loop. It's named after the area in downtown Chicago that is surrounded by the El tracks. It's like the center of downtown. They play classic rock, and I listen to Brandmeier in the mornings. So they're having this contest where one girl gets chosen to represent the radio station and get paid $50,000 to go to concerts and be at work about two days a week. I know, unfair. I think it's a good opportunity for Danielle because she can break into the media relations sort of thing that she wants to do. Also it's a challenge for her, because she isn't rock and roll at all. She listens to freaky deeky techno and stuff. So they're at the stage in the competition where the listeners vote to narrow down the field from 64 to 16. Danielle's voting period will be on Wednesday April 12th from 2PM to 2:30, and if she wins that, again from 6PM to 6:30. I encourage everyone to vote for her by calling (312)591-ROCK or by going to the website The only problem with the online voting is that you have to sign up on their website and they'll probably send you spam. I don't really care about that, though, so I signed up.

I'm playing D&D tonight, and it'll be fun. I've got my players working on a puzzle/maze thingy. Some of them read this, though, so I can't put any real details regarding what they're in for, but... They. are. so. dead. In case anyone really cares, I can write about what happened last week!!!!!

Anyone who is playing or thinking of playing the Bastion of Broken Souls module, stop reading.

OK. We're like halfway through this module, so a little background: Several mysteries came to light that hooked the players in, one was that an increasing number of children have been being born listless and limp, as if they didn't have souls. The deities won't respond to any questions, and high level divination spells are also of no use. Then one of the players, Algon, the human fighter, was attacked by a half kyton half marilith called the Cathezar. It was then revealed that he is the descendant of a glorious druid named Dydd who dealt a crippling blow to a red dragon named Ashardalon back in the day. Then this dude Nurn came along and helped them to send the Cathezar packing. Nurn was like "the Cathezar works for Aameul, and I work for Hethradiah. Aameul and Hethradiah don't like each other, so I'm just doing my thing here." It's all very mysterious. The players then went to the Cathezar's lair and found a diary explaining the Ban of the Unborn. This is why the deities can't answer questions about the soulless children, because they are banned from taking unborn souls into their portfolios. Also, Aameul's plot was revealed in the diary, something about a demon heart, and it appears that Ashardalon is still alive and that the descendent of Dydd has some power over him. They party went to the Church of Elements to learn more about Dydd. They asked about the Bastion of Unborn Souls and Semphelon, the first tree ever, tells them that they should ask Dreamer Prime. They went to the Guild of Sleep and met Dreamer Prime. Apparently, she'd been dreaming for seven years and discovering the most well kept secrets of the universe while doing so. She told them that once upon a time, there was a god named Desayeus who went to a soul font (where souls are created) and started claiming the new souls for his portfolio. The other gods got all scared like "holy crap what's going to happen if the Ban of the Unborn is broken!" so they all went and gave Desayeus a grand beat down and stripped him of his powers. Now he is in jail in the lowest layer of Pandemonium. The players planeshifted to Pandemonium, but found that the gatekeeper of Desayeus' prison wouldn't let them in, and she's a celestial, so they didn't feel right killing her. Zeb, the group's cleric of Tymora took the group to the Olympian Glades of Arboria to try and petition Tymora to get the door open. In the meantime, the group's thief, Yerbutt, got sucked into a bacchus and almost joined permanently. At any rate, Tymora opened the gate and the players went in. Desayeus was defeated, and his Soul Totem was taken. The Soul Totem allows the players entry into the Bastion of Unborn Souls, which lies in the Positive Energy Plane. Somewhere along the lines, they discovered that Ashardalon is in the Bastion, consuming souls, hence the babies being born soulless. He needs to consume them because his demonic heart is failing. The same demonic heart that Aameul is after. They decided to go to the Positive Energy Plane, but were not equipped to survive there. The group found a treasure chest with some rings of positive energy protection, but Yerbutt, the thief, stole them. With no way to identify them, and too proud to admit to stealing them, he decided to plant one of the rings on a dead body so the group would find it. He did, and upon finding out that it was a ring of positive energy protection, and the other two might be as well, he planted the other two rings on another dead body while invisible. The only problem was, the body he placed them on was the dead companion of a gray render. Yerbutt, realizing that the party would probably raise the gray render's companion and then the rings would be lost, fired a crossbow at the gray render. This spooked the gray render, causing it to pick up it's companion's body and run off, never to be seen again. This was a hilarious turn of events. Way to go Yerbutt!

That's the end of the recap. We've been on this adventure since January, so no surprise that we've accomplished a lot. So, last week, the party decided to drown their sorrows at a local tavern. In their drunkenness, they heard of a long-disappeared wizard chick who was an expert on all things positive energy related. They went to her ruined stronghold and were presented with a maze full of puzzles which must be solved in order to progress. So far, they're still in the first room. Tonight we continue. This could take a while.

Anyone who's a DM and uses all the possible resources will probably tell me that I suck for using all this pre-written adventure stuff and not inventing my own campaign. To them I say "Screw you, I don't have time for that right now. Maybe next time." I make this adventure my own just by throwing in a lot of color characters and sidebar on the fly. The best part so far has to be either the gray render thing, or when this guy called Fred joined the party. The party felt compelled to let him join because he was also a descendant of Dydd. He was a first level wizard, and this is an 18th level adventure. Fred didn't get out much, so he considered himself to be an all powerful wizard, and managed to convince the party that he was. He got killed in the first round of the first combat he was involved in.

This is the longest post ever. I hope it was entertaining enough to hold your attention!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Vacation something something something... Vacation trying to get away (song by the gogo's)

I recently got three vacations for this year planned out! I'm super excited! At the end of April I'm going to Germany for my Aunt's birthday and then I'm going to Sweden for a week to visit my friend Peter. So, Anna and Magdalena, I'm going to bring Beauty and the Geek on DVD to Germany so we can watch it! Then, perhaps for memorial day or the fourth of july, Danielle and I (and perhaps Joe, Brittany, and Amanda, I still have to ask them) will be going to my parents' condo in Florida! It's in Fort Myers, and that's where Brandon lives, so we can visit him, and we can probably get Sarah to drive over from Miami. It'll be our own little Beauty and the Geek reunion on the beach!!! Then, in December, my parents are taking the whole family on a cruise to celebrate my Dad's 65th birthday! WOOOHOOOOOO! One of the ports of call is Cabo San Lucas, so I'll be sure to stop by Cabo Wabo and say hi to Sammy Hagar and do a shot of his tequila. The cruise leaves from San Diego, so perhaps I can visit Chris and maybe Tyson and Cher and Wes and Josh. These vacations will be so awesome! I am super stoked! Yesss!

Speaking of Sammy Hagar, Danielle made it to the second round of the loop rock girl contest and so she called me and was like, "They want me to do a mock interview with some guy..." So I asked her who it was. She began rustling some papers and replied, "Here it is... Sammy Hagar." I got really excited because Van Halen is one of my favorite bands, and also the first concert I ever went to. So I went over to her house and began teaching her all about Sammy Hagar. It was just like we were back in the mansion studying for a challenge!

Speaking of concerts, I am incredibly excited because Atmosphere is coming to Chicago in May. I love Atmosphere, and I will totally be at that concert. Also performing will be Brother Ali, and he is pretty cool, too.

I've also decided that I need to start lifting weights again. I'm going to do the Chicago Scene Boat Party over the summer, and I need to get ripped by then. I wish I had never stopped working out after college. I've lost so much strength and stuff. I remember the days when I could squat 310 pounds. Hopefully those days are not lost forever.

I need a costume for a costume party this weekend... Any ideas? I already have my Halloween costume planned out, and I would rather not use it this weekend. I'm going to be Surly from the Simpson's and I'll be in character all night. I'll be telling people to SHUT IT every time they try to say something and then I'll also say stuff like "Surly only watches out for number one" and that sort of thing. I think this weekend's costume will probably end up being last minute and really lame. I could just go as myself and claim that I am a plague victim, or tuberculosis patient.

Peace out homies

Monday, March 27, 2006

Dead or Dying

I must apologize for not posting in over a month. I'm sure no one will read this now! Dang!!! Why am I the laziest person ever? Oh well, if I don't post for that long again, it means I'm dead or dying. I have the worst cold in the history of the universe. Actually, it's probably a combination of pneumonia and a sinus infection. Everyone's all like "Why don't you go to the doctor?" So I figured it can't hurt. Problem is, I don't have a doctor, and I have this silly insurance that says I can only go to doctors at the hospital that I work at. So today I called a new doctor and made an appointment. For two weeks from now. Yes. There's a good chance I'll die between now and then. I guess when you're a new patient, they aren't as eager to give you an appointment right away. I had to call in sick two days last week. The funniest thing that happened to me this past weekend was when I got really hungry on Sunday, I went to Wendy's, and while I was there, a teenage girl recognized me. I was so embarrassed because I hadn't showered in five days and I pretty much had a beard because I hadn't shaved in about eight days.

Hey everyone! Check this out
  • HAHAHAHA It's Danielle!!! The picture might not be up anymore in a couple days, but I went with Danielle this weekend (even though I was deathly ill) to an open casting call for the loop rock girl contest. They liked her, and she got called back for round two. I hope she wins! Or at least makes it to the final round. It was funny because they were probably supposed to be asking her questions about her, but they asked her a bunch of questions about me! They were like, "I noticed that Karl came with you today. Isn't he the coolest?" and "So, does Karl get more attention from hot girls when you go out?"

    Everyone should check out Joe's blog
  • He pointed out some interesting things that I forgot about. His hilarious line when he went out to introduce himself to Brittany and Sarah and said, "I'm the last guy, so both of you are with me!" and they both got up and started to walk in. Also, he mentioned that I did a body shot off of one of the girls on the first night. I forgot about that! Awesome! Plus one of the funniest things was when Thais was giving her speech and said something about living for our children, and I asked her what if one doesn't have any children, and she responded with "Karl, your children are my children." At which point I turned to the crowd and gave them a bow.

    ok, my bed calls to me. my illness won't heal if I don't sleep. more to follow in the coming days. I promise.

    Thursday, February 23, 2006


    Hello everyone, I answered a few more comments before writing this post. I did what I swore on a bible I would never do! I made a myspace. Check it out:

  • YAY!! Now I have another internet thing I won't be able to keep up with regularly!!

    Monday, February 20, 2006

    Long overdue FAQ

    This is my long overdue responses post. I'll try to address a bunch of the comments that people made on previous posts because I am lazy and haven't been keeping this up.

    If you had a really specific comment that you wanted a response to, remind me on this post or send me an email. I'll be getting to my email today or tomorrow.


    Karl, what do you do other than D&D?
    Well, I work at Loyola Medical Center as a research assistant. We do Cardiovascular Physiology research, and my job is awesome. Also, I play some video games. Nintendo is the best. I work with a youth group in Wilmette on the weekends. Since I got back from filming the show, I go out a lot, too. Danielle makes me go to clubs that I probably would have never thought of going to before. It's pretty fun, and I think the old me wouldn't have liked it.

    Karl, I was sad when you and Danielle left the mansion.
    So was I.

    Dude you are totally not a geek!
    Yes I am. But I'm also a very social person. I function very well in almost all social situations. I think the reason why I was cast on the show is because the one social arena where I constantly fail is with girls. Especially the ones that I am interested in. Also, I have a personality that people would like to see on a reality show, and I did have some room to grow.

    What was school like for you?
    Actually, I was kind of a jock in college. Captain of the cross country team, most valuable, that sort of thing. But my roommates and I really kept to ourselves a lot of the time. Also, I had goals like getting all 120 stars in Mario 64 and finishing all the sidequests in Ocarina of Time, so that kept me from doing a lot of social things.

    Do you play online rpg's?
    Nope. I could never get into them, and I don't really see myself getting into them. I can't explain it, they're just not really my thing.

    Do you play other rpg's besides D&D?
    Unfortunately, no. I started D&D when I was 18, and have been playing ever since. As any gamer knows, rpg's are kind of an expensive hobby. The books cost like forty bucks a pop, and I can't afford to keep up with other rpg's. Stick to one thing and do it really well is what I always say.

    What characters have you played?
    Haha, this is my favorite question just because I come up with awesome names for my characters. My first character was an elf ranger named Ralph. He was killed by a subversive member of our party. Next was Fnya, a human barbarian. I don't know what happened to him. Then I had Filthy Gimp, an orc barbarian. He's still around I think. Then came Francois, a french halfling rogue. He was awesome, but met an early end to a roper. I had a drow wizard named Tadryn who I never played because the DM introduced me to the party tied up and unconscious. Another party member dealt a coup de grace without even giving me a chance. Then I played Tedryn, another drow wizard. He was pretty good. We played through the City of the Spider Queen module with him. He's still alive and is like 18th level. My most recent character was a Warforged fighter named Roebit. I like that race. A lot. I also had a really powerful druid in there somewhere, but I don't remember his details. I'm DMing right now, and we're working on a high to epic level module called Bastion of Broken Souls. I'm loving it because the story is really good. I just hope my players like it too.

    Do you still run regularly?
    I'm trying to get back into it. I used to be relatively fast. Tyson and I want to run a marathon together, but right now he could totally whoop my ass. Although, I ran the Phoenix marathon a couple years ago without training and ran 3:30. That's pretty solid. I used to be able to run a mile in under 4:30, but I'm more of a 5K/10K/half marathon kind of guy. At my college, I have the fifth fastest 10K(6.2 miles) time in the school's history (a somewhat unimpressive 34:30). But my crowning achievement is having the third fastest 8K(4.98 miles) time in the school's history, which is 27:19. One of these days I'll get back into my training, and we'll run that marathon, Tyson!

    I saw you the other night at a club, do you remember me?
    Probably! I love attention, and when people recognize me, i won't forget because it makes me really happy!

    OK, so that's all I can think of right now... Any more questions, I'll try to answer them in the comments or in a later post.

    Wednesday, February 15, 2006


    So, I have developed a theory. Well, I can't give myself all the credit for this one. Actually, someone else told me about it, and I thought it was great, so I'll pass it on to you all. My theory is that people like to smell other people's farts. Here's a scenario that is the basis for this theory:
    The farter lets one go, and announces it to the world "Whoah, I totally farted!!"
    If the audience didn't want to smell it, they'd run away immediately. However, I've seen on several occasions that members of the audience will instead sniff the air, then declare in horror "AWWW! You did!!!!" Then they proceed to run away. The first sign of warning should have been enough, but they actually wanted to smell the fart, since they stuck around to actually smell it. It's subconscious. Also there is a social stigma that smelling farts other than your own is gross. I'm not admitting to enjoying the aroma of other's farts, but only throwing a theory out there regarding this behavior. I only seek to find why people would linger when it has been clearly established by a vocal claim that a fart was indeed let loose.

    Speaking of lingering, my friend Matt from grad school recently opened my eyes as to why fart smells seem to linger. It's because the olfactory receptors for the fart smell are G-protein coupled receptors, and the important thing about that type of receptor is that it has a prolonged response. So next time you fart, exclaim "A G-protein coupled receptor agonist has just been issued forth from my rectum!" I'm sure people will understand and run away.

    Also, I got my new glasses! I'll try to upload a picture into this post, and I'll probably have a somewhat forced smiling expression.

    nice new glasses you got there, pal

    I will be selling my old broken ones on ebay soon, so check it out!